I WEAR PINK . . .

I wear pink for many reasons. 

I wear pink for a best friend that lost her battle;

I wear pink for my great-aunts that navigated without adequate treatments or cures;

I wear pink for all of the young women who are diagnosed and care for babies while being cared for
themselves.

I wear pink to raise awareness and to honor all those who bravely fight a breast cancer battle;

I wear pink to honor the medical providers who spend their time creating treatment plans to cure breast cancer, so that people can continue to spend time loving on their loved ones, walking through the mountains and beside the oceans;

This particular October (2022) I wear pink because I am walking through my third go-round of the unknown myself. 

I am so incredibly blessed. That may sound a little crazy considering the above statement, but it is true. When I received the news in July that I needed to consult a surgeon we (Phil and I) quickly decided that we were going to travel to the Levine Breast Cancer Center this time.  It’s two hours from our home but we’ve been through this twice before, the same breast, and it is more frightening each time.

Today I found myself at CMC in Charlotte with a team of individuals that crawled out of bed to give me the best care possible. I found myself at Charlotte Radiology with an RT and a radiologist that deeply cared about my comfort as they placed a radioactive seed that my surgeon would then “find” to remove the tissue and clip (yes, that $541 clip that I just got in July is now gone). I found myself with the most wonderful day surgery and anesthesia crew, who made sure that despite a quick turnaround from radiology to surgery I got to spend time with Phil. Lastly, but most importantly, I found myself with a surgeon that has given us clear information, identified me as continuing high risk for screening, met with us before surgery, and met with Phil after surgery. She assured me that regardless of pathology reports I will get a phone call from her. So, yes, I am blessed – beyond words.

I have a church family that cares for me, checks on me, and prays for me on a regular basis.  I feel that love and I know that those prayers are heard by my God.  I also know as I walk through this journey that God’s timing is perfect – even when we don’t understand it.  Jesus died for me so that I can live, and that is exactly what I intend to do.  For those who don’t trust or believe in modern medicine, to each his own.  I believe that God gave doctors knowledge, and I am grateful for that knowledge.

As I heal from the latest excision, I will continue to trust my team.  My MD does not believe that I have cancer. She knows that I had atypical ductal hyperplasia, and we hope that it has now been removed. There is a chance that the margins will not be clear and further surgery would be needed.  There is a chance that I could be upgraded to a type of cancer. But here’s the thing . .

I went for my annual mammogram, and they found “something” that needed to be biopsied. I did that and they found something that needed to be excised.  I did that and now we heal and wait for results. Whatever comes next will come. The time will pass – precious time. I intend to spend that time with my family, doing life. I intend to spend that time with my church family, learning and growing in God’s word.

My MD says that we don’t need to talk about anything other than good results right now, so I won’t.  If the pathology is clean, it simply means that every six months I will return to Levine Cancer Center and be diagnostically screened and that’s normal for high-risk patients. It’s nice to be grouped in anything normal. 😊

It’s October, my friends, if you haven’t had a mammogram – GET IT DONE. You see, what’s going on inside your “ta-tas” is going on whether or not you get screened. Why wait?  If you need someone to hold your hand – call me and we’ll WEAR PINK together.

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Life at 60 ……..

Yesterday I hit a milestone birthday – SIXTY! It does cause one to pause for a moment, right? But why? Is it because we take a breath to realize that we are getting older? Maybe because we see ourselves differently, somehow, as we age? Is it because we have been taught by generation after generation that as we age we are limited in our abilities? Great points to ponder. Here is my version of Life at 60

On my birthday, our clock went off at its appointed time – 5:45 am. Phil gets up first and I grab a few extra minutes of shut eye (he also has the ability to be asleep 2.6 seconds after he lays down at night) GRRRR! We got dressed for a day of FUN & ADVENTURE! Of course, it’s my birthday!

The kids arrived with Colton before 8:00 am and we spent a lovely morning driving over to Pigeon Forge for a day at Dollywood. It was hot, it was steamy, it was crowded and a bit noisy at various times. It also stormed at the precise time that we chose a theater show in a lovely, covered, outdoor setting. At theme parks the restaurants get crowded quickly but after we were told the wait was 45 minutes, it turned into about 15 minutes. Yes, there were a couple of rides that we missed because after the lightning and thunder show (provided by God), they basically shut everything down…..BUT there were also rides that were enjoyed. Now, some of the above may sound tedious – but let me translate my version of the day.

My family planned this surprise outing for me. The adults all took a vacation day to spend with me on this milestone birthday – how cool is that?!! We had great conversation on the drive over – including listening to Colton and Pop read to each other out of the superhero dictionary. We are blessed to have gold passes that provide easy access parking. We also have a nine-year-old that has a strong selfie game for pictures. It was hot – I mean, I was born the week prior to July 4th – it’s summer! It’s steamy because we choose to live in some of the most beautiful area of God’s country and not in the desert. Our lunch was amazing and the wait was shorter than anticipated. Afterwards, we watched Colton and Pop drive a 50’s style car, while they rocked to the music. Then….Josh and Laura were able to grab a quick (20 minute) wait for a sought after rollercoaster. We walked over to the outdoor theater for a great show and WOOSH the rain appeared but we were dry under the covering. Then we walked over to another ride in time to hear KABOOM! and the thunder and lighting arrived that shut the rides down – but there wasn’t anymore rain – and we still didn’t get wet! We walked back towards the entrance and left in search of supper. Josh found a super delicious Mexican restaurant and we sat outside – again, watching the clouds swirl in the distance but not a drop of rain. As we drove home we took a slight detour to check out the area of Forbidden Caverns. Such a beautiful area! We rode back talking about the beauty of the gorge and how we might access some of the things that we could see.

God’s beauty is all around us. It is not lost on me that we live in an amazing place. My blessings are many! I walked over 10,000 steps yesterday (4.35 miles), and I am so fortunate to have the ability to do so. Do I have aches and pains? Don’t we all? I watched this birthday ring in 22 lbs. lighter than I was last year on my birthday, with the intention of taking off at least that much more in the next year. I also got a new bicycle for my birthday (a Carolina blue cruiser and it is amazing), along with a rack to carry my bicycle and Colton’s bicycle 🙂 It’s a Nana Camp thing. How amazing is it that I get to have Nana Camp? That I get to have the best husband ever? That I get to have my son and daughter-in-law twenty-four minutes from my front door? That at least one of my siblings lives 12 minutes from me? That my awesome mother-in-law is 90 years young and still lives on her own – but that I am available to help? That last week our church began its contemporary worship again? That so many people took time out of their day to wish me a happy birthday? That my sister came to decorate our house for a party on Sunday while I was at church? That those who call me their babiest also sent cards and gifts? We siblings are spread coast to coast (literally) and still find ways to love on each other!

There are too many blessings to list but I know that they exist. I relish them, I give thanks for them and I choose to live each day in good spirits, giving thanks to God for my life. Happy 60th to me and may I remain mindful that the blessings and beauty are all around.

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Nana’s 2020 Reflection in Pictures

I’ve thought a lot about how to best reflect the year 2020. I know that many people have suffered, and our family doesn’t take that lightly. We have been fortunate and (thus far) have managed to avoid sickness. Like most families, we experienced general “fallout” from the pandemic: staying home, ordering online, virtual school, one bout with required quarantine, and just doing the best that we could to maintain some sense of normalcy and keep each other safe. On New Year’s Eve we had a conversation about who hit their goals (Josh Gravley gets an A+ for meeting all of his goals AND getting his MBA), new goals for 2021, and a reflection that we feel like we did well in 2020. We viewed this past year as challenge to do better as a family; to spend more intentional time together; to care for Grandma and see her more often; to check in daily; and to make sure that Colton knew that regardless of the craziness of the world around us, his world is okay. We know that we are so blessed, and we give thanks to God.

2020 in pictures:

JANUARY – Colton played basketball for the first time! It was a great treat to watch him learning and having a blast!
FEBRUARY – A trip to our annual homeowner’s meeting at Grande Shores. #sunrise
MARCH – A pandemic sent Colton home to learn through virtual school but it didn’t dampen his amazing attitude!
APRIL – Brought amazing color into our world!
April – Get’s a second picture because we celebrate Phil Blythe’s 60th birthday pandemic style!

MAY – A PARADE! A teacher parade and a chance to see his teachers for the first time since March!
JUNE – And just like that – 3rd grade was over!
June – Also – FINALLY – a short beach trip. We isolated in the condo but still got some beach time!
JULY – Time outdoors to relax and enjoy summer!

AUGUST – Our annual beach trip – even though we had to be back for school on Colton’s birthday!
SEPTEMBER – A secluded family trip with an awesome creek!
OCTOBER – Our house to Dollywood (no stops); a few hours with masks = careful fun.
NOVEMBER – Still maintaining his smile and keeping his adults in stitches!
DECEMBER – Remembering our fun in December last year, and creating was to celebrate (drive-through lights, games and a sleepover on Christmas night!

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Mind Your P’s and Q’s

How many times have you heard that saying in your life? Do you know what it means? I’ve always been told that it was about pints and quarts, barmaids and fairly drunken patrons. Maybe it’s true, maybe not. Regardless, I’ve continued to use the saying!

Last night as Colton was going to sleep he was in the stage where he was winding back up rather than down (common in 8-year-olds). I told him to mind his P’s and Q’s and was met with the question of what does that mean? I gave him a light explanation about pints and quarts. He responded by saying, “that doesn’t make any sense, Nana. It should be priorities and qualities.”

Now THAT makes sense! When we are not acting correctly we certainly do need to give thought to our priorities and qualities. Isn’t it interesting that priorities and qualities can go hand in hand in a child’s mind? If we adults paid more attention to our priorities and those qualities that support our priorities, we would see positive change and we might possibly create a different world.

Let’s look at two things that have turned our world upside down in the last few months. COVID-19 has ravished our country (and world). It is a virus with so many unknowns still in play. Medical experts have been pretty clear that they don’t know everything about the virus, including the best ways to combat and avoid it. We have heard that we don’t need masks, that we should now wear masks, that we should distance, that we should stay at home, that essential workers can still work – and essential has been broadly defined. We are on to Phase 2 in North Carolina, relaxing some restrictions but still indicating that we need masks, that we need to distance, some businesses can open, some may not. We have local government agencies that have chosen to follow none of the restrictions. If you follow where I am going with this, we have been told things work, only to be told they do not and we have local government that don’t appear to be following any orders at this point. We’ve been asked to implement restrictions, only to have them lifted or changed. Each time I leave our house, which isn’t often, I witness the majority of people not wearing masks, not distancing, going about daily life as though our state hasn’t had 939 individuals die from this virus. That number, as of today, includes a child that passed away from symptoms related to the virus. You may know none of the people included in that 939 number but what if you did? Would personal knowledge make you mind your P’s and Q’s more closely?

The second thing that I’d like to think about is the protests, destruction and looting that has taken place under the auspices of changing behaviors that ultimately caused (in my opinion) the death of George Floyd. The tragic way in which this man died is without question, horrific. I do believe that our law enforcement officers must be held to a higher standard of behavior. When you swear someone in to serve and protect there are behaviors and responsibilities that come along. Those officers (all of them) must mind their P’s and Q’s. What has been lost in translation is that the vast majority of law enforcement officers work hard to serve and protect. There are no excuses for the murder of George Floyd, and there are no excuses for the officers that stood by and watched it happen. I think that most people share that viewpoint. That said, looting, destroying property, and assaulting law enforcment officers fails to create change. Blocking streets and leaving trash strewn all over our streets doesn’t create change. In watching news reports I’ve heard everything from protestors using colorful language to berate officers, to flash bombs being used to back up protestors and all manors of behavior in between. I detect disdain from media reporters about protestors being arrested, while those reporters admit that the emergency curfew has passed and protestors have been asked multiple times to leave the area. Once there has been a curfew enacted I believe that we need to (at least) attempt to follow it. I’ve also watched, via a Facebook live feed from my niece, a peaceful protest where people were kneeling or sitting and verbalizing that they want to be the change. As you read this, which groups do you think would be well served by minding their P’s and Q’s?

In closing, this is not a political post. Each and every child of God matters. Your preferred politics don’t make you unworthy. Depending on your views, the next person you come in contact with may think you are different than them and that could be true. I would think that we can all understand and respect that. This post doesn’t address skin color. The same boy that says we should mind our priorities and qualities – he doesn’t see color in his friends, neither young or old. He just sees his friends.

Maybe we should take a lesson from a wise young boy and mind our P’s and Q’s. It’s worth considering, don’t you think?

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What Are We Thinking?

I imagine that all of us at some point this week heard the story of the two cruise ships that were stranded at sea. One of them held four bodies, their souls having departed while over the ocean. There were about fifteen critical patients onboard, positive with COVID-19, the pandemic that has brought the world as we know it to its knees. There were about 50 other people presumed to be positive for COVID-19. The Zaandam had been denied port entry by several countries before heading for Port Everglades, Florida.

I began to follow the saga of where they would port. My thoughts ranged from why people were cruising in the middle of a pandemic (in fact, they were on the ship when things got real), to how do they deal with this amount of illness on a ship (staff cared for people in the best ways possible – and sacrificed their own health in the process), and where on earth would they be allowed to go – potentially spreading more virus as they got off the ships. I also thought about who was on the ships – not the numbers that we kept hearing but WHO was on the ships. I imagined there were fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, children, newlyweds. . . .and the list goes on.

As I began to follow the negotiations about allowing the Zaandam and her sister ship to dock at Port Everglades, I found myself emotionally invested on some weird level (insert heartstrings). The governor of Florida was saying (initially) that they could not dock at all; then it became about allowing the Florida residents to come ashore but not the rest of the people. What? You would bring the ones that live in Florida to shore and leave the rest to die at sea? What the hell? Other countries have already sent them away. Wait, how much revenue does the cruise industry bring to Florida? According to a 2017 report by Cruise Lines International Assoc., The global cruise industry contributed $7.97 billion to Florida’s economy in 2016. The cruise industry’s direct expenditures in Florida generated total economic impacts of 149,020 jobs and $7.1 billion in wages. This is not POCKET CHANGE!

This was my realization that being quarantined in the middle of a pandemic sucks. Of course, they have to let these ships dock! Of course, we need to help them get medical care. Part of our extended family (Danny and Michele) have been frequent cruisers (taking us on our one and only cruise). What if they had been on one of these ships? What if they were stranded at sea?

Broward County officials varied on whether they should be allowed to dock. Push, pull, push, pull, negotiate, push, pull. Hello? Are you there? “Leaders” while you’re playing this game of tug-o-war the people on these ships are sick and hurting. GIVE SOME THOUGHT TO BEING STUCK FROM MARCH 14TH TO APRIL 2ND (18 DAYS) IN A STATEROOM WITH NO WINDOWS. Did all you claustrophobic people just suck wind? I certainly did.

Newsflash: We (The United States of America) are not at war with these people, we are at war with COVID-19. These two ships full of people are caught in the crossfire. If we see a neighbor/friend getting caught in crossfire I would like to think that we would pull them out of the way. Is it frightening – YES! Is it our responsibility – NOT REALLY! Is it the right thing to do – YUP!

We have our medical personnel on the front lines right now. They are fighting to save lives by the minute – including their own. They are humanitarians. Our country is full of good and decent people. People that are currently scared to death of where we are headed in the next couple of months (my household included). Where is your head and heart today? What are you thinking as you watch the news? How did you start your day working from home or preparing to help with a school lesson? Did you leave your home today and go to work in a medical office or hospital (Laura G and Glenda P)? Pinch yourself and find some reality! This time will pass, and we should strive to look back on it and know that we’ve done our part. What is your part?

Dear God, I ask for your guidance in the days ahead. As I am afraid, use that fear to teach me lessons. As I am tired, let me know that the work was worth it. As I ache to see and hold my family, allow me to feel the reassurance that they are okay. As I read and listen, soften my heart so that I am not quick to judge but to understand. God, help us all to be the best that we can be in a time that we have never seen. Amen.

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Happy Birthday Mom

Today is your first birthday in heaven. I wonder what you’re doing there for your birthday. Did you sleep late? Do you sleep in heaven? You don’t really like sweets but I hope that you got something to eat that you love.

I missed looking through birthday cards at the store for you. You know, the ones that I’d spend an hour finding…..just to make you cry? Even when they didn’t, you played along and I’m grateful that you did that for me.

In my Facebook memories this week there was a post that popped up from you to me. You told me that I need to learn the word REST! I’m trying to do that. I’m trying to find that balance that I’ve never had. Why did you and Daddy give me genes that make me so damn accountable for my job?

Phil and I had a question about a ground beef recipe this week. Who are we supposed to call with you gone? Who will make my okra and tomatoes perfectly for me?

There are so many unanswered questions, mom. There was never enough time for all of them.

Colton thinks that I need to have Medicare, so that we can make sure I’m taken care of because you are gone. He is a thinker, that boy. We cleaned out the building but he refuses to get rid of the rocks that you gave him.

In January we are going to take the rest of your ashes to Georgia and scatter them with Granny and Poppa. I know that you want that. While we are there we will visit with Aunt Glenese. I know that you wanted so badly to make that one last trip, so we’ll do it for you. Glenda, Ramona, Bobby, Cyndi, Phil and me, hanging out in Dublin just like when we were kids. We may even go to Poplar Springs and see if we recognize the window that belongs to Great Granny and Grandpa.

I’m still here on earth doing all the things that you said we should. Being responsible, caring for everyone, working and loving those around us, everyday – even on days like today that suck, because it’s your birthday and you are gone.

Happy Birthday, mom. I love you.

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When We Fall Apart

I’m not falling apart….at least not today.

We Phillips girls are kind of known for our ability to be stoic. I think that’s a fair assessment of my sisters and me. I “pride” myself in not dissolving into tears during the hard parts of life. I’m tough. I’m that girl. You know, the one who can go from the beginning to the end of an absolute crisis and keep it together. Like giving a bleeding man CPR in the middle of the street in a rainstorm (yep, that’s correct – my colleagues holding my phone so I could hear the 911 dispatcher give instructions).

Never wavering, giving directions, making plans, and being in charge…. these are the things that I thrive on. The things that keep me sane in difficult circumstances. There are a few exceptions in my life where I did just fall apart. Two that come to mind immediately are receiving the news of my father’s death and sitting in the ER trying to comprehend what the MD was telling me about my sweet sister, Ramona. Those losses found me in a very unfamiliar place. A place where I have zero comfort.

If you are one of my people, the kind that doesn’t allow ourselves to fall apart, these phrases will be familiar to you. The things that we tell ourselves and those around us are: I’m fine. You’re fine. Everything is going to be okay: Don’t stress, it will all be fine: Crying doesn’t fix anything: My ability to keep moving allows me to stay sane. Sound familiar?

If you are my people I just want to let you know that I am currently rethinking my hard-line stance on tears. Why is this? Am I becoming a softie? Please say it isn’t so! The reality is that our family has had a few super hard years and learning how to process all of that is a journey that we’re on. We didn’t ask to be here but we find ourselves having to move toward a new normal. Pray tell, what does that look like and why would it cause this hard-line, no tears, nana to rethink my position about falling apart?

It’s pretty simple (and mind you I have no idea if it works), I heard a song that reminds us that “it’s okay to cry; it’s okay to fall apart; you don’t have to try to be strong when you are not; it may take some time to make sense of all your thoughts; but don’t ever fight your tears, there is freedom in every drop; Sometimes the only way to heal a broken heart is when we fall apart.” Could it be that the place of falling apart, allowing ourselves to feel that deep place of sorrow and emotion is a healthy way to walk through loss?

I’m not sold on it……..but it does make me believe that if it happens maybe it won’t be the end of the world. I think that being in control on the outside is different than surrendering your control on the inside. Personally, I’m also big in my belief that, as Christians, we have to praise God in good times and hard times. One of my favorite songs is by Casting Crowns – Praise You In The Storm. I also know that there is power in allowing those around you to help you heal. We are blessed to have our children and grandchild close. I am blessed to have three additional siblings to love me. A church family and a God that never fails.

I’m sure that there will be times when I fall apart, I mean, maybe…………..

At the end of the day, I’m pretty sure that only the people who walk this road of minimal tears will understand any of what this means 🙂 Isn’t this part of why we write a blog…..to make people think?

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Removing the Stigma

Stigma is defined as a “mark of disgrace associated with a particular circumstance, quality, or person.” Most of you know that I am a paralegal, turned homeless shelter director / volunteer manager, turned paralegal (round two). Those two vastly different, and yet very similar careers, allowed me to witness the stigma associated with these very real human issues.

I began to do bankruptcy work around 1993. My first reflection of how bad the associated stigma is happened just a few months later when I overheard someone (in public) talking about an individual who had filed a bankruptcy and how “running up debt just to write it off” should be against the law. In fact, they used to publish the “filed” bankruptcy cases in the newspaper. There are so many different things wrong with those scenarios but I will stick to my opinion, based on the clients I have personally worked with over almost thirty years. I have never worked with a client that just thought it would be amusing to amass a large amount of debt and play a game of bankruptcy challenge. Yes, bankruptcy is challenging. Likely the reason that people either put off filing or don’t file at all. It is also buried in stigma, in spite of the fact that it is legal and a humane way for people to recover from financial ruin. What would make it easier?

It’s imperative to have a competent and caring attorney, that has staff who are willing to listen and understand where you are in your journey. Honestly, unless you broke the law, it doesn’t matter how you arrived in your current place. Call it hand-holding or whatever you’d like, it is imperative. While it is important, for you, that you determine a future path that doesn’t send you back to bankrtupcy court, your current reality should be handled compassionately. Whether you’re reading this while considering filing a bankruptcy, or you are a bystander interested in why bankruptcy happens, you should take time to read what the law says about filing a bankruptcy case?

Article I, Section 8, of the United States Constitution authorizes Congress to enact “uniform Laws on the subject of Bankruptcies.” The Bankruptcy Code, which is codified as Title 11 of the United States Code, has been amended several times since its enactment. It is the uniform federal law that governs all bankruptcy cases. But why does it exist? Why is it important?. . . . The fundamental goal of the federal bankruptcy laws enacted by Congress is to give debtors a financial “fresh start” from burdensome debts. The Supreme Court made this point about the purpose of the bankruptcy law in a 1934 decision: It gives to the honest but unfortunate debtor…a new opportunity in life and a clear field for future effort, unhampered by the pressure and discouragement of preexisting debt.

Note the language “honest but unfortunate debtor” because that has been my experience with clients. People who have worked their entire lives only to make one bad financial decision; people who lost long-standing, lucrative careers, to be permanently laid off when our economy took a downturn. Most of the time, people who [I will say] were further along in their financial stability, have already spent their savings and retirement accounts, to continue paying their debts, before it occurs to them they have the reasonable choice of bankruptcy. Other times it is individuals who weren’t provided solid lessons about finances, or students that were afforded multiple credit cards in college. Divorce can cause bankruptcy, when one partner is left with more debt that they can absorb. Now, ask yourselves, do you know anyone who has gone through one of these life circumstances? I bet you do. If you’ve never been in a compromised financial position, you are so fortunate. That said, why not stop and think before you attach a stigma to someone because they need have come to a bump that will require them to file a bankruptcy in order to stabilize their life? Be the caring humans that I know you can and think before you speak!

Note: this post is about individuals filing bankruptcy to regain their lives – not large corporate filings (though they also have a legal right to file).

If you NEED to file a bankruptcy, or determine if doing so might help your future, I encourage you to reach out to a competent attorney. If you don’t immediately love the staff – look elsewhere! It should cost you NOTHING to have a consultation and it could save you so much in your daily life. For those of you who believe that bankruptcy should not be a “thing,” I respect your opinion about the matter but I also encourage you not to tear people down but, instead, to lift them up in whatever positive way that you can.

As for the stigma comparison between bankruptcy and homelessness. That is a post for another day. . . . . . .

This blog contains legal thoughts but is not to be mistaken for legal advice under any circumstances. If you need legal services, please seek an attorney licensed to practice law in the area you require services. Written by: Sharon P Blythe, NCCP

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Two Years and Counting

It’s been two years since you left us here on earth. It’s been two years since my phone rang on that Sunday morning and I heard the words that you had moved on – just after sunrise. I knew that you would never leave us while it was dark outside. You hated the dark, hence the reason I still sleep with a nightlight at almost sixty-years-old.

I think it’s important to let you know what we’ve been doing since you left; even though I know that you see, hear and watch over us. To honor your memory is for us to have learned from you while you were here on earth. We all did and here are a few things that you would be proud of if you were still with us.

Bobby & Cyndi are both doing fine. In addition to losing you, Cyndi has lost both her parents now. Bobby lost his bio-dad (Pops) too. Phil and I drove over to see him a few weeks before he passed. I told him that the best thing that he ever did on earth was to give us Bobby. He was grateful to hear my words, Mom. Can you imagine what our lives would have been without Bobby? Me neither. Bobby is working too hard but I am hopeful that he won’t continue to travel as much and will slow down. I mean, he’s getting old!

Phil & I are also fine. Phil works too many hours but that’s not a new thing. What is new, Mom, is that I left my job with Homeward Bound. I know that would make you happy because you always worried about my hours and stress. I’m working as a freelance paralegal – back to my roots, as they say! I’m helping take care of Grandma. She turned 90 and is still living independently. We spend lots of time with Colton. Just today I had a memory of the video that we made of him walking around your yard and dancing like the chickens. I heard your voice in that video and I loved that part. I also want you to know that we survived the pandemic really well. As a family, we just hunkered down. I figured out the food storage part pretty quickly (I mean, I did actually listen to you). I took time to make bread from scratch, meal plan and we do have a storage pantry. You always said that we could eat for weeks – even if it wasn’t exactly what we wanted. You were right.

Josh, Laura, and Colton were here for supper on Monday. The kids were worn out after spreading mulch all weekend. They take good care of their property and Josh hasn’t cut all the plants, bushes and trees down (I think he secretly fears that you will haunt him if he cuts too much). Josh has another promotion at his job and is rocking the world. He meets all challenges with a can-do attitude. You were so proud of him and he continues to be that man.

Colton just finished 4th grade. He made straight A’s all year, scored at the very highest point of his EOG in math, and still finds time to play outside and be a kid. He loves to skip rocks in the creek, and he loves to collect sticks to use as various props in his playtime. You’d be proud that we have a decorative pot to keep all his sticks in – so that he can collect them at will. During the pandemic, I helped him with virtual school. He has a gift for writing, Mom, just like you. He is so smart, so loving and is truly an amazing human.

Caitlin and Deacon moved to Portland, Oregon, and they seem to love it there. Janelle is still in Florida and she misses them terribly. I know that if you were here you would be reminding Caitlin and Deacon to call her often because we never know how much time we have. You would be proud of Caitlin – she loved you so very much. You may not realize this but she took the last picture taken of you.

Glenda Ann is working long hours and still delivering babies like a champ 🙂 She loves the office that she is in and doesn’t have to take near as much call. She is still active in church – even though mission’s opportunities have been scarce since the pandemic. Like Mona and me, she is working on getting healthy. We hope in a couple of years she will retire.

Ramona Jean finally retired, then decided to work for a year, and has now retired again. I think I’ve talked her out of going back to work. We are enjoying spending time together and some mornings we walk at the park. She is headed to Cleveland Clinic before long to get her heart checkup. Watch over that trip and visit, will you?

Tina Marie and Freddie are still in California. Last year they had fires very close to their place, which was so frightening. They have finished their fire preparation for this year, clearing around their house and such. Watch over them and keep the fires away. Mom, it’s so hard that they are such a long distance and we can’t just run to them when they need us.

Lastly, Bobby talked to Steve a few weeks ago. I haven’t talked to him in a couple of months but I had a long conversation with Paul a couple of weeks ago. Steve still won’t drink as much as he should. Could you send down a shower or leak over him – maybe it would be a sign 🙂 I know that he misses you and will never move on but he is doing okay.

That’s the update for this 2021 anniversary of your death. We miss you, Mom. We never thought you would leave so soon but we understand why you made the decisions that you made. I think about the fact that you are pain free in heaven and it gives me peace. I think about the fact that you and Aunt Betty are hanging out and it gives me peace.

I love you, Sharon

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To Teach or . . . . Yep

One of the first things that our family talked about when it became apparent that COVID-19 was coming to our part of the world was whether or not the kids would be able to stay in school. We guessed (correctly) that they would not. What would that mean for Colton? What would that mean for us? Funny, there was no question about how we would school Colton at home.

When I chose retirement/semi-retirement from my long term job in December, trust me when I say that it NEVER crossed my mind I would become a third grade teacher. That said, when we realized that Colton was going to have to continue his education at home (at least for the foreseeable future), there was no question that I would step into that role. Phil, Josh and Laura are all working fulltime jobs – with varying degrees of hours and location required.

Friday, March 20, was our first day of class. It was full of “new” for all of us! Laura and Colton had their morning date via the drive-through at Starbucks. When they arrived I met them outside (because Pop said I had to meet our student on the sidewalk) and Colton asked if he was supposed to call me Ms. Blythe. If you’re reading this and you don’t know Colton, he is full of humor! We settled on him calling me………Nana.

We had the advantage of reviewing the materials in advance and I have the support of all my family adults. I want this adventure to be fun for Colton (and want him to continue learning). We began with him working on a video about his first day. Colton LOVES to take selfies and record himself, so I suspected this would be fun for him. By 9:00 a.m. we were in our first virtual session and those lasted until noon. It’s not realistic that any of the kids can be online for a continue three hours per day but I think those details will be worked out over time. My first day review is that checking in, giving some instructions/support and then allowing the kids to begin working will be enough. It’s hard for the teachers to interact with so many children via video (lots of chatting). It was so heartwarming to see the excitement of the kids when they began to see each other via video. Colton was excited to see his friends and his teachers. We had lunch and afterward we went outside for recess (always his favorite part of the day). He hit a bucket of baseballs and pitched a bucket of baseballs. We then went back to learning. Colton was very patient with the entire process. We supported each other through the day (with check-ins from Josh).

We are all teachers on some level. I think I am nervous about teaching Colton his third grade school work because I just want to make sure he is learning what he needs to so that he is ready to hit fourth grade like a champ. Like all of us, Colton has things that he loves to learn and things that he isn’t interested in. My job is to make sure that he learns all of it.

There is a song by Casting Crowns – The Very Next Thing. Part of the chorus is: “To the very next way you’re gonna use me; Show me the next thing; I’ll do the next thing.” I knew in December when I cleaned out my desk that God would show me the next place that I should be; the next place that He wants me to engage.

My faith tells me that my “next thing” is here and now. It’s teaching third grade to the best boy in the world, while continuing to support my family through a pandemic. This is uncharted territory for all of us and we will get through it one day at a time. Thanks be to God for family.

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Pandemic 2020 – #1

CHAPTER ONE

In my lifetime there have been times when our economy was terrible. As an adult, I remember how difficult the struggle was after 9/11 for our family business. As a child, I remember times that my parents struggled with our family business – including a gas shortage. We bought gas on even or odd days, which sound simple but when you have a fleet of loaner cars for customers while you repair their cars it is difficult to navigate. I remember Mr. Mike who owned an Exxon station allowing us to sometimes get gas after hours so that Daddy could keep customers happy and keep working.

Never in my life do I remember not being able to purchase mounds of things in the grocery store. I guess that by osmosis (thanks, Mom) I have learned to be a planner. I’ve enjoyed meal planning since I left my job in December (which has certainly been helpful the past few days). We generally aren’t “out” of things at our house, other than staples like milk or bread (and we try not to run out of those). We are a blessed family.

There are so many things that flood our minds during times of crisis. For us, part of the adults in our family have to continue to go to work. My daughter-in-law works for a physician’s office. The docs have put many precautions in place, for which we are grateful. My husband works for MSC Industrial. Their company is considered essential, critical and life-saving per state and federal standards. I know what you’re thinking…..industrial supplies? Critical? Trust me, in the last twenty-four hours, I’ve seen the need.

I was the director of Room in the Inn for over ten years. I worry about our neighbors without housing. We sit in our homes and think about ways to stay busy and not go stir crazy. Any of them would love an opportunity to sit in a home and wonder what to do. The first thing they would likely do is sleep. Our bodies become exhausted and overwhelmed when they lack proper rest and trust me when I tell you that people experiencing homelessness never have enough rest. The best shelter in the world is still a shelter. Oh, we need them and are grateful for the ones that meet individuals where they are on their journey.

I worry about my colleagues (that I left behind) caring for Room in the Inn and (specifically) the AHOPE Day Center. Folks, if you ever want to see where the real work is happening AHOPE is a great place to witness it. You think you’re freaked out going to buy groceries and wondering who might have COVID-19? This staff sees close to 200 people each day! Their schedules have been changed, their lives have been adjusted to meet the needs of their clients. The term front line staff is real.

So, what can we do? Reach out, call someone, Facetime with them (I’ve been letting our grandson talk to his best friend this way). Bake some bread, make a pot of great smelling soup! Hunker down and allow this virus time to fade away. Enjoy time with your family and sort those pictures….you know, the ones in the box that you keep avoiding!!

Tomorrow…..Chapter 2….Adventures on our first day of home-schooling.

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