Each day in our life is a gift from God. At our house we never take our days for granted. Live each day to the fullest. Excel at your job. Spend plenty of time with your family. Do your yard work. Grab a date night, and much, much, more. As of recent we have discovered that we are part of the Club Sandwich generation (no, really, look it up), defined as those in their 50s or 60s sandwiched between aging parents, adult children and grandchildren.
At our house, after supper, you will generally find us at the table together, well, unless you consider the pile of papers, two laptops and one IPAD between us. In the background you may hear the washer, dryer or dishwasher and generally a news channel on the television. I can’t tell you that this is our idea of fun, though we both enjoy our careers. I can tell you what this represents for us is the quiet time that we can finish work from earlier today, or that project that requires concentration and a cup of coffee. It is the time that allows us an extra hour, or two, during the “regular” workday to be Club Sandwich people!
If you’ve never thought about your place in the Club Sandwich world, there are some really good things about it. There are also some very difficult things about it. The past eight days have been challenging. Phil’s dad has made one trip to the emergency room and one to the urgent care. Phil has had to pick him up (sometimes from the floor, sometimes a chair, once out of the car) at least four times this week. You see, Grandpa has Parkinson’s Disease and we are doing our best to allow him to be at home. Last Thursday my mom had a stroke, followed by a three-day hospital stay. Now there are mounds of appointments to be set and follow-up to be completed. Then there is the fact that she now can’t drive until she is released by an ophthalmology-neuro specialist. As hard as we try, being part of the Club Sandwich crew is knowing that you can’t always make your aging parents happy. That is the hardest part of what we do, feeling like we have disappointed them, we have not met their expectations. What we want for them, what the doctors tell us they need, isn’t always what they want or agree to. The only “fix” is to keep trying.
If you go back to the first paragraph and re-read the definition you will see that we land in this group because we also have adult children and (in our case) a grandson. We are blessed that our adult children are close (in proximity and relationship). What keeps us moving forward, always, is that sweet time that we can spend, either with Colton or relaxing with the kids. Watching Colton explore his world carries enough sunshine to light up the world on the darkest night. I thought the thirty minute snuggle-fest yesterday afternoon would be the highlight of my last week, until we lay down last night and he asked me to sing dinosaur songs about him. These are songs that he has faith I can make up as we go, and they always involve him and the subject he requests. So far, so good. After two songs last night he simply said, thanks, Nana, and curled up for a night’s rest. That innocence, that we do our best to shield from falls, hospital stays and what the future will bring.
To those of you reading this, look around. Will you be part of this club one day? Will your children be part of the club one day? I encourage you to be prepared. Get those documents done now. Plan to the best of your ability. Even when sickness and disease throws you a different curve each and every day, you can still plan. Plan to do the best that you can do. Plan to lift each other up and love each other through it.
When we leave this world, we may leave behind some material things but what we want to leave is a legacy of love. Love that we have shared with those that mean the most to us. As for this “club” that we’re in……..I’ve never been known for my ability to be happy just following. How about a club called “Taking Care of our Parents – Even when It’s Less Than Perfect?”
When life makes you part of a club that you don’t care for………start another club.
Nana Reflections 